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FacebookI Am NOT That Mommy
The other day I went on my usual grocery run, this trip was to our local Publix. Publix is a nice grocery store that has nearly everything you want, but can be a little pricey. I usually make a trip to Sam’s to get what I can, then the farmer’s market, then Aldi’s, and then go by Publix to get the last of what I need. At Publix, they also claim to carry out your groceries. However, if your a man, or with a man, they won’t offer to take your groceries out. If the bagger is female or the bagger is lazy or shy you also are probably not getting your groceries taken out to your car unless you insist on it. On this shopping day, I happened to get a bagger who wasn’t a complete antisocial invert, and actually got my groceries carried to my car for once without having to ask. He was actually a very witty person that I chatted with out to my car. I pointed him in the direction of my car and we continued to chat. There was a big blue minivan parked in front of my car and he went right for it. Oh, the horror! I said no, no, no, not that one, who do I look like, really? I pointed him in the direction of my little black 2 door coupe. We talked a bit more as he loaded my groceries into my car and I placed my son in his car seat. Where is it written that if you have one child you must give up a perfectly good car that seats 4 comfortably for a minivan that seats 7 or more. I try to live life in a frugal way, yet enjoy what is important to me. By trying to live this way I do things which are not always considered mainstream, such as transporting a 30 lb toddler in a little car over an enormous minivan.
So I just wanted to clear up any preconceived notions about stereotypical stay at home mommies and let you know who I am, who I am not, and who I would like to be.
Let me first tell you that,
I am NOT that mommy,
- who is part of any mommy click
- who never wears make-up
- who wears the same clothes all day she slept in
- who doesn’t brush her hair
- who wears clothes 2 sizes too big
- who doesn’t bathe everyday
- who is too weak to move the furniture to clean under it
- who wears over-sized flannel pajamas
- who has a hissy when my kid eats a goldfish cracker, or god forbid, off the floor
- who drives a minivan
- who has never colored her hair
- who submits to her child’s every whim
- and who’s idea of a home cooked meal is a Stouffer’s lasagna
I AM the mommy
- who is sometimes manipulated by her child’s cuteness
- who loves to speak with women of experience about their children
- who loves to eat good food
- who loves to speak about her kid, but also has other interests
- who isn’t defined as homemaker, but rather by my former profession that I will one day return to
- who prefers lingerie to sleep in
- who wears a bikini, even while pregnant
- who takes my kid on vacation and everywhere else I go
- who uses cloth diapers
- who swears by attachment parenting
- who believes child rearing doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive
- who was able to have a non hospital natural birth
- who enjoys a good red wine as often as possible, but doesn’t snub some white zin and sprite over ice
- who usually makes homemade, from scratch meals, but doesn’t swear off junk food
- who wonders why people think its odd that my son eats vegetables
- who changes the color of her hair with the season
- and who knows a little about alot, yet realizes her there is so much more to learn, and so much more I will never learn or understand
I WISH I were that mommy
- who had time to clean the whole house everyday
- who gave myself a manicure and pedicure every week
- who baked bread regularly, instead of buying it
- who had a place to plant a garden
- who made time to crochet, knit, and sew
- who took more time to read
- who had a room with a view
- who didn’t worry about the things she can’t change
- who accepted people the way they are without trying to change them
- who didn’t get easily angered
- who didn’t hold grudges
- and who didn’t judge people
I wish I were that mommy who was, well, perfect, like this fantasy woman I am describing, but that’s not going to happen. I’ll just continue to try the best I can everyday, learn acceptance, and practice moderation in all aspects of my life.
If you liked this post, tell me who you are, who you aren’t, and who you want to be on your blog. If you don’t have a blog, just post in the comment section. You could do mommy like I have done here or daddy, wife, girlfriend, sister, brother, grandparent, or even your profession. If you do this post, leave a link in the comment section here to your blog, so that I can link to you here in my post.
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Nice blog entry, Angie! Don’t you just love how people make assumptions about who someone is based on stereotypes?
I think I am a combination of all three mommies. Although, I have to confess, I own a minivan, LOL. Of course, all my kids are grown and out of the house, so I guess that makes it okay! More often, I drive my pick up and don’t fit THAT stereotype either!
Love the new look of the blog, your latest photos (that burrito looks YUM!) and this punchy new writing style of yours.
For fear of crashing your site, I’ll stick to one thing I wish I was… a mommy!
This did make me laugh! No-one in the UK carries your groceries to your car from the supermarket unless you have a disability! Not that I mind, I don’t expect that. I am that working mummy whose boys have grown up and left home, who sometimes misses them, but not much and who sometimes feels guilty about the fact that she doesn’t miss them that often. I am not hard hearted, I hope I’ve given them the skills to be independent, but I also hope they feel they can come to me when they need help. That’s the mummy I want to be – I’m not the one who can judge if that is the person I am. Thanks for a great post.
Hey Angie, my kids are all grown. I have 2 naturals and a few part timers too. Being mom is, well here’s an example, my youngest is 22 and when he speaks of me he calls me his Mommia! They can always count on me, even now, and they know it. Never mind who I think I want to be or who I’m not, I think being me is enough. Driving, I drive whatever is available at the time. Currently that’s an F250 or an 08 Elantra. Don’t think I’ll ever fit a stereotype and I’d bet money you won’t either! Keep doing what you’re doing friend.
I really love this post Angie. When I am a mom I hope I am like you – still pretty put-together and not one of those moms who lets herself go. I will not be wearing clothes that are two sizes too or too weak to move furniture! In fact, I hope to still be training for/running marathons well into motherhood.
well, the only thing I can comment on about being a mommy is, sounds like you’re one hell of a good one….
You are doing a great job being a mom, which is the hardest job in the whole world. I agree with what Joanne says.
Great post….strikes many chords. I am not a grandma so t here is a whole different set of criteria and goals and lots of love.
Good post, Angie.
LOL! I’m an engineer, a geek – but with occasional social skills, a single parent, foodie, avid skier, and part-time professor. I write to encourage people to improve and use critical thinking skills.
It sounds like you have a good grasp on what it takes to be a great mother! Be happy with the fact yo re doing your bst, that is the most tht can be expected! Cool blog and than you.
I just found this post that you did! i love it! It was so nice to read more about you. I need to write a post like this. You seem like a really great, cool mommy
This is a very interesting post. With all the changes that the “stay at home moms” are going through. Its very nice to hear that their are moms out there that still take pride in raising there children. I love the list of the things that you do as a mom.
This is great. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.
I love reading the list you have for both AM and AM NOT that mommy. I see some on both lists that I am. I do love to wear a bikini when I am pregnant because I think it is so cute.
Super nice this is going to my collections
I sure did laugh when I recognized myself in “I am NOT that mommy” list! My two children are young adults now, one still lives with us. My daughter has been living in another city for several years now and I love when she calls just to say how much she loves me and misses me (and her dad, of course). At that moment, I know that I did OK and everything is alright.